May be I just think too much

Argh.. This holiday was so bored. Suddenly, I feel so lonely. I like to be alone, but these few days really make me feel that I really having no plan to do. All of the closest friends have their own planning for the holidays. Though I not very like to go out, but staying in the house for few straight days really can make me crazy.

Just now, suddenly feel that I wanna eat McD. So, I ask my sis to go along with me. Besides going there, I also want to go to the grocery shop to buy some snacks and buy ice blended mocha that I suddenly craving for. When I drove outside, I really feel scary. Everywhere is so dark (nilai really like kampung, all the roads are so dark), decided to go for the ice blended first. What? The café is closed. So down. So went to grocery shop buy other stuffs, really like only few shops are opening. So, I went to the shop and when going back, there is 2 african outside the shops. Wa, really scary, I don’t know why just feel scary. There is no other on the street. Holiday is really holiday, the street also became so silent and weird. The silence made me feel even lonely. He went to vacation. For the first few days. I feel so free without his voice. Haha. But today really not used to it, we almost hang on the phone for everyday. Suddenly, I am thinking of how is the life if I am going to work at other place one day. If we were far apart, I used to feel that it really doesn’t matter as long as we care for each other. Even though he is not supporting me for doing that. Things may be different now, I guess I am the one that cannot handle this situation. Without me, he still can live happily. And I, I don’t know how much time that I need to paralyze myself. I hate myself to become this, I believe no one cannot live without other. Just like the lyric in jolin’s song-没有一个人 非要另一个人才能过一生. I want to be independent, I don’t want to depend on any other. Linie is right, we need to grow up. Somehow, we are forced to grow up too.

I don’t know why I am so emo today. I guess because I am too free to think too much.

Forget about it. My room is in a mess. I want to go to Ikea to find for small furniture to fit inside my room. Many of my stuffs at pandan indah had been moved to my house at Nilai since I staying most of the time here. Clothes, bag and notes are all over my room. May be some day I even need one personal shoes rack for me in this house. Just that I not dare to bring all shoes home, or else my dad will fainted to see my shoes. As he always said, 1 person also need so many shoes meh? But now I am in a controllable condition la at least. Last time was even worse.

I WANT TO GO OUT. Anyone willing to fetch me? =(